Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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