Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize