so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
