i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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