I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
