You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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