She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
