bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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