I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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