Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
