Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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