redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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