Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
