I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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