I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
