i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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