You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
