and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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