I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
