Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize