Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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