And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
