thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
