worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
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