I love black thongs
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
