Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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