was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
