singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
