is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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