have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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