How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
