On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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