ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
