a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
