Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
