I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
NoShamevember. You game?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
