I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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