She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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