He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
