I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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