Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
