he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
