One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.