Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus