You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems