I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
