I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
