I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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