Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
