the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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