he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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