i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
