very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
