Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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