I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
