she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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