We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My breasts were aching with rage.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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