5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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