Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If I die, sorry about rent.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
