Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
